Choosing who to care for your minor children in the event of your passing may well be one of the most difficult decisions you face as part of your planning process. The following is a list of suggestions to help you weigh your options. The first thing to remember, though, is that nobody is going to parent your child exactly like you would. Looking for that “perfect” fit may keep you from making any choice at all, in which case the courts will decide for you. Your children may end up being raised by someone you DON’T want, and that is unacceptable. Walk through these suggestions and make a list of what is most important to you. Then make the best decision possible.

Consider a wide group of people.  Guardians don’t have to be immediate family members. Look at aunts, uncles, cousins, or friends. The important thing is the potential guardian’s commitment to loving your child. Be sure to be sensitive to your spouse as you discuss possible candidates from either side of the family tree.

Look for compatible attributes and personality.  Anticipate how the guardians will interact with your child. Are the people you are considering outgoing or reserved? Loving and affectionate or more hands off? How do they like to spend their time? Camping out or urban hotels?Sports or arts?  Importantly, is there already a connection between them and your child?

Think about shared values and philosophies.  Parents often want to make sure the things they value most will be present in the home of the guardians they choose. What are the values of the person you are considering regarding education? Work? Religion? Responsibility? Family? What is their philosophy of child rearing in general?  If you don’t know, ask.

Take into account longevity.  It may be tempting to choose grandparents as guardians. Think carefully about their stamina and ability to look after young ones, or to be in touch with the needs of modern teens. You will want your chosen guardians to see their responsibilities through to adulthood and be in good enough health to handle the rigors of parenting.

Envision the new situation.  Try to picture what life would be like with the addition of your child to the guardian’s life. Do they have the financial stability to take on that responsibility? If there are other children in the home, how will your child fit in? Will your child have to relocate a long distance to become part of this family? Will they need to purchase a larger house to accommodate your child?

Make a backup plan.  Your first choice of guardian may not say yes to your request, or they may become unable to fulfill that responsibility when and if the time comes. Always have a next-best option in line.

Think about immediate temporary guardians.  It may take a while for out-of-area guardians to be notified and make their way to your minor children. Think of someone in the area who is able to take custody right away for a short period of time.

We can help you walk through the process of choosing a guardian for your minor child and ensuring your choose of guardian is legally documented so your children are protected and cared for.